"I’m doing a lot of work on myself," said my client.
"Do you ever tire of working so hard on
yourself?" I asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, maybe all this hard work is somehow
holding you back. Why not give up working
so hard at self-improvement and see what a
little self-acceptance does for you. In other
words, give yourself a break."
"You mean no more hard work," she said.
"Yes – only self-acceptance," I said.
"I’ll work on it," she said.
The work ethic is a faith founded on an unholy trinity of blood, sweat and tears. In terms of consciousness, it is distinctly Neanderthal. Brute force is the answer to everything, including happiness. Creative problem solving is about extra muscle power. Success in anything is about extra effort.
Disciples of the work ethic believe in the labour of love, the school of hard knocks and power-breakfasts. They think that happiness is an achievement, success comes from struggle, inspiration is perspiration, and abundance is born of pain and sacrifice. Apparently, nothing good can happen unless you "make it happen".
The work ethic is really a cult. The ego is the leader. Devotees believe creation began with a big bang. Apparently everything is the product of a big bang. They also believe in a God who probably didn’t rest on the seventh day. Work ethic slaves say that work is salvation. Apparently, work establishes worth. They abhor relaxation (called "downtime") because they say it is so unproductive.
According to the work ethic, effort is power. But what if too much "efforting" can actually block creativity, healing and joy? Maybe it is because you are so full of effort that there is no room for inspiration, new ideas, God, miracles, breakthroughs and a better way.
Has it ever occurred to you that you may be trying too hard? For instance, maybe you are trying too hard to heal something. Maybe you are trying too hard to be happy. Maybe you are trying too hard to be liked. Maybe you are trying too hard to succeed. Maybe you are trying too hard with a difficult relationship. Maybe you are trying too hard to lose weight. Maybe you are trying too hard to attract a partner.
Have you ever noticed that what you try hardest "to make happen" often gives you the most grief? Perhaps your excessive efforting betrays an inner conflict. For instance,
you fear you don’t deserve good things that happen easily, i.e. you must work for them.
you feel unworthy about receiving, and so you try to earn things instead.
your dysfunctional independence stops you asking for help, so you simply work harder.
you apply more effort because you are tired and cannot see smarter options.
you are trying to control outcomes.
you keep struggling because you are afraid of success and abundance.
you are afraid to let go and surrender to something better.
you lack trust in your innocence, the grand design, and in God’s help.
With the work ethic, I really know what I am talking about. I remember the day a close friend of mine had the audacity to tell me, "Robert, you work as hard as your father drank". "That’s projection," I said. I was so angry I knew my friend must be right.
My mother watched me as I tried to work myself into an early grave. Several times she sent me cards with the same message:
"Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow;
they toil not, neither do they spin:
And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in
all his glory was not arrayed like one of these."
Matthew 6: 28-29
"Nice message," I thought, "but doesn’t she realise that she has already sent me this?" The pattern of my life was, "work, work, work, exhaustion... work, work, work, exhaustion … work, work, work, exhaustion." I was in a sweat and there was no space for inspiration, no chance for miracles, and no time for joy.
Today, let go of the belief you need to work hard for everything. Swap effort for inspiration. Ease up on struggle. Focus on a relationship or goal you are trying too hard at. Give up trying to "make it happen" and make way for guidance and success. Commit to ease. Believe in effortless accomplishment. Make space for a better way and an easier way
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